Ax Man
by zuzuthezombie
Summary: "...Keef?" 'Yup! Heya, buddy.' "You do realize what this means, don't you, Zim?" "Yes. That we now have TWO things to deal with." Keef has finally snapped. And he's out for revenge. And Zim is, too. T for blood, violence, & mild swears. c Jhonen V.
1. Boze Wolf

Dib hated clubs.

Maybe it was the pounding music or the masses upon masses of people that were always there, and the lines! Oh, the lines! It always seemed as though it was the only club in existence, and everyone wanted to get inside, even going so far as to wait for hours in sub-zero temperatures just for five minutes inside the eardrum-breaking building. They were so crowded and the guard always let in the celebrities and dragged out the closest people to the door just to make room for them.

However, Dib always had the feeling that he was looking for something at those clubs. He didn't know what it was, exactly, but whenever he went to those kinds of places he felt as though he almost had it in his grasp, so close yet so far, but when he left the feeling was always gone. It wasn't missing the green-skinned alien boy Zim, that was for sure!

Zim had given up on his 'mission' one day when the Tallest had finally decided to come clean about him being sent to Earth, to which he had responded with "FINE! I DON'T CARE ANYWAY!" and turned his back completely on the Irken Empire, making up a fake last name for himself and putting himself into records so that he actually existed and making himself a fake birth certificate. Now he and Gir were _real_. Professor Membrane had unexpectedly announced one day that he, Dib and Gaz were going to go live in Knew Pork City, where Dib's mother lived. Dib never saw Zim again.

So here Dib was, waiting in line at the Boze Wolf to get inside. It was one he had been to many times before, but the feeling was always stronger here than it had ever been anywhere else. Another couple random people came stumbling out of the door, trying hard to find their balance and hastily calling a Taxi. The gaurd counted how many people had just staggered out, and let that many in, three, to be precise. He nodded at Dib, one of the people whom he talked to most, chatting about trivial things like TV shows or who just got sent to the Insane Asylum (Dib was grateful every time that it wasn't him). Dib went inside, and was hit with the loud music and that feeling, only it was stronger than it had ever been before. Dib knew now that this would be the day. The day he found what he was looking for.

Confident, he strolled up to the bar and ordered something random, not really caring what he got. He picked it up once it came and wandered around, knowing he would know what it was the second he laid eyes on it. He strolled towards the dance floor, and the feeling got stronger every time he got closer to it. Yes, it was here. He _had _to find it. He felt as though his life depended on it, although perhaps it did.

The crowd parted for just a second, and he saw a flash of pink, but then it closed just as quickly. He thought that that was what he had been looking for, but he couldn't be sure. Not until he got another glimpse. Again, the crowd parted, and this time he was able to see a thin pink-clad arm, but then it closed again. It looked familiar somehow. Then, as if on cue to his wishes, the dance floor cleared exept for an extremely strange looking man. An extremely _green skinned _strange looking man.

The man jumped and skidded, clapped and ducked in precise timing to the music, which was the number one on the pop charts at the time, and was infamously notorious for being hard to dance to. An amazing song, but hard to dance to. When he was done, and the song over, the whole building roared for him, and he bowed, swirling his hands in front of his midsection as he bent over. Dib could _not _believe his eyes. He had been searching for _Zim? Zim!_

He watched in horror and amazement as he went over to the bar, a group of people, mostly female, followed him over to where he sat. Then, unexpectedly, he jumped on top of the counter and yelled over the noise "FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYBODY!" the crowd went even more wild for him, if that was possible. How did he change from an outcast to a local instant hit? Dib wondered, then shoved his way back to the alien, determined to talk to him.

It took him about half an hour to finally make it to Zim. The rest of the people were pushing and shoving and there were several fights that broke out among the fans, but were quickly stopped, most of them resluting in getting kicked out. Dib saw that he had gotten at least fifteen phone numbers, a couple creepily from the same person. Zim just basked in the spotlight, clearly (or at least to Dib) happy at finally getting the praise he thought he rightfully deserved. When Dib stepped up to him, Zim smiled. Not an evil smile, but a true, genuine smile.

"Please, I want to talk to a freind of mine!" Zim waved a hand around at the surrounding gathering, and they reluctantly dispersed. "Dib-worm! What brings you here?" He laughed at him.

"_Zim?"_ Dib asked in amazement, eyeing him over.

"Yes, that is me!" Zim replied triumphantly. He was wearing what he usually wore, the red stripy tunic, the skinnier pink shirt underneath, the black skinny pants, gloves, boots, and of course his PAK. Dib remembered what happened if he took it off. He had the scars to prove it. His wig was different, though. It looked nothing like he was trying to be an Elvis impersonator and more like it was actual hair. It was feathery and it covered the spot where his ears would've been if he had any. His tunic didn't go all the way down to his knees anymore, instead it looked almost like a regular shirt, stopping just a few inches below his waistband. The triangular sleeves and collar were the same, except it appeared that Zim had added a hood. His boots were covered in chains and shiny buckles and a couple of scraps of metal that Dib had no idea where they came from, but they looked to be the same kind of metal that Gir was made of. What Dib wore hadn't changed a bit, and his hair still had that odd scythe shape, and of course he still wore glasses.

Dib just stood there, staring at Zim some more. He didn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. He thought that maybe it was just the pull of the PAK, after being hooked up to it for a bit, and it just recognized Dib. No, Dib knew that he_ had _been looking for Zim. Dib eyed him over again. He was much taller then when he had last seen him, a couple feet, and was just a bit taller than Dib, hair included. It still amazed Dib that no one thought he was an alien, with the green skin and odd house, not to mention talking dog.

"Um. Dib-worm? Are you okay?" Zim was giving him a strange look.

"Hmmm?" Dib looked at Zim. "Oh! Yes, I'm fine."

"That's good. Humans are so weak. What do you want?" Zim cocked his head at Dib.

"Anything is fine."

Zim turned to the person behind the counter and ordered something for the two of them, as well as paying the money for the other people's drinks. "So! How you been?"

Dib sighed. "Good, I guess. You heard the news about my Dad?"

"Yup. Amazing, isn't it?"

"I 'spose. At least the Perpetual Energy Generator wasn't sabotaged by you, like you tried to do before with that robot. _And_, on the plus side, it didn't **explode**!"

Another popular song turned on. "Oh!" Zim exclaimed. "I LOVE this song! Be back!" He set his glass down and jumped into the middle of the dance floor, once again impressing everyone by dancing in perfect timing to the music. When the song was over, he made his grand finale by doing a perfect splits in the middle of the floor, one hand raised up above him in a fist, the other one palm flat on the floor in front of him to steady himself. As soon as the people cheered for him, he quickly got up and headed back to Dib.

Dib shook his head at him. "Impressive, Mr. Martian."

"I am NOT FROM MARS, Hippo-Head."

_"_MY _HEAD _IS NOT _BIG!"_

"Yes it is. _You _just won't admit it." Zim replied smugly.

"It isn't big!" Dib clutched at his huge head.

"It's the size of a hippo, that head." Zim flicked the side of Dib's head. Dib briefly wondered how Zim could do that, with him only having three digits on each hand, but he had accomplished greater. There was an awkward silence for a bit, then:

"So... are you ever going to move back to Fellheaver?" Zim asked.

"Maybe. Why, do you miss me?" Dib teased.

Zim, however, took this seriously. "The mighty Zim NEVER misses ANYBODY! I am **Irken.**" He spat out the word Irken, as if it were some kind of poison.

"Oh! Did you hear about that serial killer that got put into the Insane Asylum?" Dib took a drink out of his glass. He hoped this worked. Before, when his family still lived in Fellheaver, Zim got so angry just at the sight at the color purple, that he couldn't talk. Dib found out that saying something far from anything to do with the Irkens would usually calm him down.

"Yeah. I heard he got put in the cell reserved for you!" the alien laughed. It had worked.

Dib scowled at his friend. It had been common knowledge that the Insane Asylum, or IA for short, had a special cell just for Dib, but what with the frightening number of people that were going crazy nowadays, the IA had been filling up pretty quickly. "Yes. I heard that too."

"I'm getting kinda bored. Should we go?" Zim looked over at the black haired man.

"Sure." Zim paid for their drinks, and they left, nodding and waving goodbye to people as they went.

As Dib tried to hail a Taxi, he asked his friend: "Sooo... where are you staying?"

"Hotel. The Knew Pork Palace." A Cabbie finally decided to agknowledge that they wanted a ride, and they climbed in. The hotel was close.

"Ah. Would you like me to take you there?" Dib buckled his seatbelt.

"Sure."

"Hey, you want my number?" Dib turned away from his window to look at the person sitting next to him. In the half-light from the streetlights occasionally lighting up his face, Zim looked almost scary, if you didn't know that he was really just a softie at heart, but his years of doing hard labor had roughened him. Dib was sure that, if he didn't have those contacts in, his ruby eyes would probably glow. Dib also knew that if he told him, he wouldn't really care all that much.

"Sure." he said again, and Dib pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper.

"No need." Zim shrugged. "An **Irken **never forgets."

"Isn't it an elephant never forgets?"

"No. **Irken**." he took the pen and paper and scribbled down his number, and Dib told Zim his. Already, they were at Zim's hotel, and he got out.

"Bye!" Zim called over his shoulder as the Taxi door closed, and the car drove off. It was nice to see his former-enemy-now-turned-friend again.

**~End Of Chapter One~**

**Hallo again! I have told some of you that there is going to be a contest, and there shall be! There will be a reference to something in each chapter, and the first person who guesses it correctly will be sent the next chapter via DocX. Review me if you want the full rules, and I will PM you back.**


	2. Nighttime Illusions

When Zim got to his room, he sat down on his bed and began yanking his boots and gloves off. He got the gloves off easily, as they weren't as tight fitting as the boots. He took the heel of his pointy boot and pulled. After a few seconds, his hands flew off it in the effort of taking the thing off. He frowned, shifted on the bed, and began to pull it off again. Zim flopped onto his back, and put his foot in the air. Finally, it popped off. He sat up and proceeded to do the same thing with his other shoe.

When he was ready for bed, he clicked all the lights off and slid into bed. He lay there, staring at the dark room, his night-vision eyes as good as ever. His antennae flicked about, searching involuntarily for the usual shrieking of Gir. He rolled over to his other side, laying on his back felt strange. He sighed. Gir... oh, Gir. Gir _still _needed to be fixed... why did he like waffles so much, anyway? Ugh, those waffles made Zim sick... it hurt every time he hiccuped...

xxxXXXxxx

He dreamt about that day again, that day so long ago, when everything came crashing down around him.

It had started out as any other normal transmission to the Tallest.

"Everything goes well," Zim gave a salute. "I have infiltrated the Human's STUPID education systems and I have moved up in rank, from simple Skool to MiddleSkool. I have a MOST INGENIOUS plan to kill the DIB-WORM! I am now in eighth grade, and will soon graduate to HISKOOL!" he let out a loud laugh, flinging his hands in the air.

Red sighed. "That's wonderful, Zim. But uh..." he shared a glance with Purple, who nodded. "We have something to tell you."

Zim straightened up. "Yes, my Tallest?"

"Would you like to know the real reason you were sent to... Earth?" Red looked at him, then turned away.

Zim blinked. "Yes..."

Red opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it and turned to Purple for help. "The truth is, Zim," Purple paused. "we _HATE _you."

Red nodded.

"Y-you what?" Zim stared at the screen.

"You heard me! WE. HATE. YOU! You're so tiny! Even Invader Skoodge isn't as _so very SHORT _as you are!" Purple roared, getting into it, his voice so loud that it filtered through the speakers and back to the _Massive. _

Red nodded. "You are _defective, _SO defective, in fact, that all the bad data you have made the CONTROL BRAINS GO CRAZY!

"You _killed _Tallest Miyuki!" Red yelled, and they began taking turns.

"AND Spork. **On his first day of reign!" **

"B-bu-but that was an accident-" poor Zim stammered, but was cut off by Red.

"_YOU. __**RUINED.**__ OPERATION. IMPENDING. DOOM. I!" _he stood up, knocking over his glass of soda as he did so. "And lest we forget the smeetery block-up, and two black outs totaling nine years OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE PLANET!"

"And _then!" _Purple stood up as well, "_And then, you quit being banished to Foodcourtia! _Being banished! _No one _can just _quit _being banished!"

xxxXXXxxx

Now, Dib had set up cameras in Zim's base so he could spy on him, and was watching with a mixture of confusion, empathy, and regret. Confusion because he wondered just what Zim had done, empathy because he felt sorry for Zim, and regret because he felt bad about how he had treated Zim.

How could they hate him? In all the while that Dib had known Zim, he had sometimes seen a softer side to him, one that didn't want to hurt others, one that just wanted a bit of recognition, a bit of being _wanted _and _liked_, even if just for a bit. He had been ten times as loyal than all the other soldiers, from what Dib had heard, yet that was something to be ashamed of.

Then his leaders began to scream at him in a language that Dib could only assume was Irken. He had absolutely no idea what they were saying, but Zim looked horrified. Then, with his broken emotion suppressor, and all he had just heard from his leaders and just the overall daily life of being an Irken, he put his head in his hands and began to cry.

"Aww, wussa matta?" Purple teased, and pushed his lower lip out in a pout and began rubbing the corners of his eyes with his fists. "Is da tiny wittle defecive gonna cwy?" Red laughed, then went off screen and returned with what looked to be an Irken computer.

"Now, Zim, here comes the _real _punishment. Seeing as you have grown rather _fond _of your defective S.I.R. Unit-"

"A defective S.I.R. for a defective Irken, huh?" Purple cut in.

Red glared at his brother. "Ahem. As I was saying, you seem to like your S.I.R., so we will take the honor of deactivating it!" he typed in some commands and then handed it towards Purple. "Would you like to to the honors?"

"With pleasure!" Purple reached out and pushed a button.

Gir had crept up tentatively and wrapped his metal arms around his Master's waist, standing on his tippy-toes to reach it. Zim knelt down and wrapped his arms around Gir's head, as if to protect him from what he knew was inevitable. Zim whimpered, but did not let go, when Gir's tiny body began crackling with electricity and shaking, his eyes flickering between teal and red, and occasionally flashing black.

"Mastah!" he shrieked in agony. "It hurts Mastah, it hurts!" After a while of this torture, Gir's wiring finally gave out, and he collapsed, limp and lifeless, showing no signs that the little robot had ever been activated at all. Tears flowed freely down Zim's face, and he was still clutching onto Gir and stroking his head. Minimoose squeaked and nudged his arm, but Zim just brushed him away sadly and stood up, going to the table he tended to use for operations and set his ever-faithful servant's body down gingerly. He roughly brushed his tears away, then turned back to the screen.

The two Irkens he was facing laughed evilly. "You are a shame to the Empire, and so you shall be banished from Irk, Devastis, Foodcourtia, Judgementia, Blorch, Vort, Dirt, Hobo 13, and any other planets the _successful _Invaders take over." Red spat at him.

"FINE!" Zim screamed, backing away, "I DON'T CARE ANYWAY!" he stumbled over some sort of machinery, and put his hand out for support, accidentally knocking a bottle of Clorox into a vat of ammonia. He coughed as the fumes began to fill the air. It didn't matter, his PAK would filter the toxins out of his bloodstream. He _really _shouldn't have left the Clorox near the ammonia...

"Goodbye, Zim!" Purple almost squealed, wiggling his two fingers at the screen in goodbye. Zim turned and, grabbing the closest thing to him, a large test tube, flung it at the monitor, the shards damaging the screen and effectively ending the transmission. He let out a wordless scream, venting out his rage and pain. What had he done wrong?

xxxXXXxxx

Zim woke up abruptly, shivering and sweating. That had been a recurring nightmare of his over the years. He slowly relaxed, wishing he had Minimoose to cuddle up with. This mighty Irken soldier needed a hug. He curled up into a tiny ball and began weeping softly.

xxxXXXxxx

Dib's nightmare was about a room with a moose.

**~End Of Chapter Two~**


	3. New House, New Rules

In the morning, Dib sleepily wandered into the kitchen after using the bathroom. He put some water into the teakettle to boil, as he disliked coffee. He put some cinnamon bread in the toaster and went to the living room, flicking on the TV to watch the news. It was something about a case of mass hysteria about someone smelling perfume or something. Dib thought it was just odd. The kettle whistled, and he went back to the kitchen, only then realizing that he had forgotten to press the button down on the toaster. He shrugged and pressed it down, pouring the water into a mug and put the tiny bag in. He got his toast and plopped down on the couch once again. A commercial for Super Toast came on, and he glanced down at his toast to compare them. He didn't trust that toast on the TV. He just sort of sat there, eating toast and drinking tea, staring at the television. He jumped and scrambled when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he asked into the receiver.

"Hello, Dib. It's Zim." said the voice at the other end almost coldly.

"Um, hi. Wadda you want?" Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Umm... yeah. I've got... a question... for you." Zim paused.

"Well? What is it?"

"Uh, well, I don't wanna sound..." he searched for the right word. "...strange, but I have an... offer for you."

"Well, spit it out. I don't have all day."

"But from the sound of it you just woke up... anyway, would you like to live with me?"

"Live with you?"

"No, wait! Not like that! I just meant so you could come back to Fellheaver..." Zim cleared his throat. "I mean, if you want. I'm certainly not gonna force you... and please don't think this the wrong way, I mean live with me like a roommate."

"I knew what you meant!" Dib laughed. "And... yes."

"Huh? Yes what?"

"Yes, I'll come to live with you! Geez, have you always been this... this... not-listening kind of way?"

"_Not-listening kind of way? _What is your problem? Anyway, okay, so will you be moving in soon?"

"Yeah, proly."

"Okay, I need to go see you later bye!" Zim hung up abruptly. Dib put the phone down slowly, staring at it as if it had just started eating spaghetti. He had been acting _strange, _for Zim, at least.

xxxXXXxxx

And so it came to be that Zim and Dib stumbled into Zim's house, exhausted from the jet-lag. Zim walked up the stairs, Dib dragging one of his suitcases behind him, Zim having left his at the door. ("You don't need to bring them with you, the Computer will take care of them for you." Zim had said. "Yeah, but I still need my pijamas." Dib had responded.) Zim had pointed to the guest bedroom, and Dib gave a tired thanks and stumbled into the room and onto the bed, where he lost consciousness soon afterwards.

xxxXXXxxx

When Dib opened his door, he felt something cold fall onto his feet. He looked down. It was Gir. He lightly nudged him with a toe. When the android didn't respond, he bent down and picked him up. He gasped when he saw what had happened. All of the parts on Gir that usually glowed teal were completely black. Attached to his back was what appeared to be some sort of battery; it had a clear outside and a purple wire in the middle, curled up like a spring. He was covered in patches of other metal, some seemed to be copper, others rusted iron. There were several kinds Dib knew, and others he didn't. He cradled him carefully in his arms and looked around the hallway.

There were two other doors on the side of the hallway that Dib's room was on and three more on the other side. One of them on the other side was open, and Dib could see it was the bathroom. One of the doors was covered in stickers that read 'DANGEROUS! TOXIC WASTE!' and 'KEEP OUT!' Dib guessed it was Zim's room, so he tried that door first. It was locked. The other rooms were two other guest rooms and a small office/library. At one end of the hall was a window, and at the other side was the stairs leading down. Dib could faintly smell... some sort of food, at least, so he went down. He found Zim sitting at the kitchen table eating... well, Dib wasn't really sure _what _he was eating.

"Zim! There you are! I just found Gir he was outside my door and he fell on my feet and I don't know what happened! I swear I didn't do it!" Dib said in a rush, almost panicking.

Zim looked up from his food-like substance. "Oh, I know what happened. Don't worry, all I need to do is recharge him and he'll be fine." He stood up and carefully removed Gir from Dib's arms, then moved into the living room. "Computer! Bring me the CHARGER!"

"**Fiiiiiine**." the Computer droned, and a panel opened up in the wall, looking like just a very large version of a battery charger. Zim, with a bit of effort, yanked the large battery off of Gir's back and settled it in the charger. He turned and set the broken robot down on the couch.

"Um, I need to take Minimoose out for a walk, okay? There's food in the fridge and cupboards if you're hungry for lunch." Zim turned to look at him.

"Lunch? How long was I asleep?" Dib rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, it's 1:27 now, so, about eleven hours, give or take." the alien shrugged.

"Eleven hours? REALLY?"

"Yup!" Zim smiled impishly.

"Okay, well, go give your... moose a walk, I guess."

"See you when I get back!" Zim started to leave. "Oh! And if two people come here while I'm gone asking for keys, let them in. I know them." He left, Minimoose floating along in front of him. Minimoose squeaked, and Zim laughed as they closed the door. "His head _is _rather big, isn't it?"

Dib stared after them. _HIS HEAD WASN'T BIG! _But it just might smell like puppies... he flopped down on the couch, about to watch TV when he got an idea. An idea, that while nonetheless extremely stupid, was great. He hopped off the couch and went back upstairs to his room. He searched through his luggage, looking for the base of his idea. Eventually, he produced a small device that looked a bit like a Swiss army knife, only with different attatchments. He strode quickly across the hall to Zim's room. He selected an attatchment, and slid into the tiny crevice between the door and doorframe, right near the handle and began wiggling it around. He was trying to pick the lock. He grinned when he heard the soft _click! _that meant he had done it. He opened the door, and went in.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he thought of Zim's room, but it certainly wasn't this. The walls were a soft purple color, but that wasn't what was surprising. The room was extremely messy, unlike the rest of the house. The bed was unmade, and almost every available surface was covered in drawings, blueprints, painting supplies, clay, and other things like scraps of metal. Hanging from pieces of string and paperclips from the ceiling were drawings of one, two, or all of three female Irkens. One of them had strange brownish-green eyes, wearing the usual uniform. She had orange rings on her curly antennae, which stopped in the middle of her back. She didn't have the usual antennae, though. They curled outwards, instead of the regular inwards, towards her back. The second one was wearing the usual uniform also, with common ruby eyes and long antennae that reached her knees. The third one had a variation of the uniform, teal and silver instead of purple and pink, and her eyes were purple. They were all sort of tallish. The ones with the purple and ruby eyes were depicted more than the other one, but one on the bedside table seemed to be the prized drawing. It was a painfully detailed drawing of the ruby-eyed one, reading a book. It didn't look as though she were modeling, more as if the artist had drawn it at a time when they thought she looked the most beautiful. All of them seemed to be too well drawn to be imaginary.

Were they people from Zim's life on Irk? Dib snooped around a bit, looking for nothing in particular, until he came across a small tube with a blue button on the side. Curious, he pressed it. It slid open into a tablet like thing, and on the top was a nub which Dib assumed was a stylus of some sort. He pulled it out, and the screen flickered, going to some type of menu or home screen. He didn't know what the characters on the screen meant, so he picked an icon at random. What came up were pictures. There was Zim, surrounded by smaller Irkens. There were a couple more of Zim and smaller people, the little ones different each time. Next were some industrial-looking buildings, a tower, then some pretty scenery. The next ones Dib felt almost embarrassed to be looking at. They were ones of Zim seriously kissing either the ruby or purple-eyed one. There were a couple of him playfully pecking the brown-eyed one on the cheek. Dib blushed, and quickly put it back the way it had been. He looked up guiltily when the doorbell rang, and quickly shut and locked the door again, pocketing the small lockpick device.

He opened the door just in time to hear someone say: "...not here. We should come back later." Two people were just leaving the yard.

"Hey!" Dib called after them. "I can help you!"

They turned around, and Dib recognized them instantly. "You can? ...Dib? Is that you?" The one who had asked was female, as was the other one. She was wearing bright pink shorts and a t-shirt, black boots, and a long black coat that split in the back like tailcoats. Her hair was short, except for in the front, where it went in a triangle down the middle of her face, covering her nose and stopping about halfway down her neck and it was blue with patches of purple. She had a gold ring in her right ear. The other one had long black hair that covered her left eye with a patch of red. Her visible eye was green, and she had a splattering of freckles. She wore a grey and purple striped sweater, a red belt, ripped jeans with red bottoms, black boots, a black necklace, and a red bracelet on her left wrist. Her jeans were tucked into her boots.

"Dib!" the one with the black and red hair growled.

"Oh, h-hey, Zera, hey Viro." Dib stammered. "Um... Zim said something about two people coming here asking about keys. Would you happen to be those people?"

"Yes, yes we are." Zera, the black haired one answered, and roughly pushed Dib out of the way and stalked into the house.

"Hi, Dib! Sorry 'bout her!" Viro gave him an apologetic smile and wave, then went inside the house too. The scene Dib came upon when he came back in was odd, to say the least. The TV was on, and Zera was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed. Viro was staring worriedly at Gir's body.

Viro tapped her chin. "What's up with Gir?"

Dib just shrugged. "Zim said he needed to be recharged."

"Mmmm. So, how are you?"

"Good, I guess."

"I'm hooome!" The door banged open and Zim strutted in. He stopped when he saw the guests. "Hello! I see you've come."

"Yeah," Zera huffed. "And we met Dib." She glared at him.

"Hey!" Dib protested. "I said I was sorry!"

"Well sorry doesn't cut it!" Zera looked away.

"Yeah, we met Dib!" Viro lunged forward and hugged the man tightly.

"Do you know each other?" Zim raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, we _know _each other." Zera scowled at Dib again. "He ruined my birthday party."

"I thought I saw a chupacabra!" Dib defended himself.

"WHY would a chupacabra be after my cake!" Zera flung her hands into the air in exasperation.

"How was I supposed to know it was a squirrel?"

"Well, ya got eyes! Four of them, in fact!" She yelped at him.

"Hey!" Dib adjusted his glasses indignantly.

Viro flung herself off Dib and between him and Zera, who was now standing up. "Alright, alright. Let's just all calm down and take a deeeep breath... in, out. In, out. In, out. Now, that's better, yes? Now, can you apologize?" She pursed her lips.

Zera flopped down on the couch again. "Sorry." She muttered sourly under her breath.

"Sorry." Dib said, not looking at her.

"That's better, yeah?" Viro chirped, trying to diffuse the tension in the room. "Hey, the battery's charged!" She happily bounded over to the charger. The purple wire was now glowing softly, and she yanked it out, falling back unceremoniously onto her bottom. She merely giggled and stood up again, skipping back to where Gir lay and cheerfully reatattched it. Nothing happened, but the huge battery was clearly charged.

Zim hurried over and picked him up, turning the robot over and over in his hands. "This... has never happened before." He tapped the glass casing. "Let's go down to the Base, run a few TESTS!"

He went over to the stairs, but instead of going up them, he opened a door that no one had noticed. A set of stairs led down into a laundry room. There was a door on the opposite wall that was open, showing a room cluttered with pig propaganda and other things, mostly from the Krazy Taco, including a Krazy Taco suit. There were hundreds of rubber piggies, plushies, blankets, a huge bed with a canopy, and Eggo waffle boxes. The name 'Gir' was spraypainted onto the door in pink. In the middle of the laundry room floor was a square of old, dirty wood. Zim bent down and opened it, revealing another staircase leading down. Without hesitation, he began to descend. When they reached the bottom, it seemed to be a side room, isolated from the other rooms in the vast underground beehive that was Zim's Base.

The room was filled with computer equipment, and it was pretty clean, like the rest of the Base and the house above. The ceiling was the usual tangle of wires and tubes, leading to who knows what. Zim walked over to a silver table and put Gir down, removing the battery again as he did so. He opened up Gir's head and removed a memory chip. Going over to a bank of computers, he slid the disk into a slot. One of the screens flickered clumsily to life, and a video began to play.

_"Gir, do you know what happened to this?" Zim pointed to a small tube with a red button on the side. On one end there was a black glass bubble. The tube was badly damaged, and the bubble was cracked._

_The camera tilted upwards to better see the undisguised Zim. "Yeah! I used it on Pig, but he just bit it!"_

_"He WHAT? Gir, do you know that we will never ever again be able to get another one of these if I cannot fix it? Huh? Did you ever think of that?" Zim snapped at Gir, the camera._

_"Yes! Wait... no!" Gir cheerfully proclaimed._

_Zim facepalmed himself. "What was I thinking when I let him use the voice amplifier?" he muttered under his breath. "Fine Gir. You're, uh, going to be, um, grounded! For, mm, three weeks! Yes, three weeks!" he flung a finger into the air dramatically. "Go, run along to your room, Gir. I have WORK to do!"_

_"Okeee dokeee!" Gir squealed, and skidded down the stairs and into his room._

_The camera goes black._

_The camera tilted into the kitchen, around the corner, so you can see up the other stairs. Zim was climbing up them, quickly disappearing behind the corner. Gir giggled softly, then tip-toed over to the kitchen toilet. He quickly scrambled in, and swirls down. The angle is upside down for a bit, but quickly rights itself. Laying on a counter a ways away was the voice amplifier. Gir giggled again and snatches up the device, holding it up to his neck, he presses the button. There are several sparks flying, but Gir just giggled louder, his voice now several octaves deeper than what it normally was. He quickly hopped back into his room._

_The camera goes black again._

_Zim stands by the front door, holding a suitcase. "Gir, I have to leave. I will be back soon though, so don't worry, okay?"_

_The camera nodded. Zim rolled his eyes and left._

_The camera goes black once again._

_It is dark, and the clock on the screen says 6:57 AM. Gir stands there, giggling quietly to himself. He is staring at a door. A shadow fell across the door, and you can see the silouette of a person open Gir's head and fiddle with the wires in the can-like appendage. Here the tape ends._

"Hmm," Zim said, "if that person messed with the wires, we might not be able to fix Gir."

"Why not?" asked Dib.

"We don't have the parts." responded Zim. "I used all the spare parts we had on the Base because it was falling apart. That's why everything doesn't work too well." He opened up Gir's head and rooted about for a couple of seconds, then pulled out two purple wires. They appeared to be severed. Zim sighed. "Just what I was afraid of. We can't fix him now."

Zera and Viro glanced at each other, and they nodded.

"Zim? We have something to tell you," Viro reached up and took out her gold earring. Her image flickered, and then turned into the brown-eyed Irken female from the tablet. Zera took off her red bracelet, and the same thing happened to her too, and she became the purple-eyed one.

Zim just stared at them. "Zera? Viro? What are you doing here? Did the Tallest send you, Zera?"

Zera shook her head. "No, I'm not here to kill you. I'm still their little 'asassin', but I'm your friend. The Tallest sent me to kill you, but I won't."

Zim looked at Viro. "And why are YOU here?"

"Because I wanted to!"

Zera raised an antennae at her. "Anyway, we have bad news for you. The Tallest have decided to come and Invade this planet. We have just one Irk month to stop them. We're part of a resistance, and we're allies with the Resisty, no matter how stupid they may be. There's power in numbers."

"Oh! Alright then! Guess I'll be helping!" a small, sad little smile formed on Zim's face. "What about you, Dib-monkey? Will you be helping?"

"Wait, how long is an Irk month?"

"About one Earth year." Zim shrugged.

Dib rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah! That sounds fun! Then we'll get to go on spaceships and see aliens and stuff. It'll be awesome!"

"It's decided then! Do you wan to sleep here tonight?" Zim looked at Zera and Viro.

Viro shrugged. "Sure." then started up the stairs. The rest followed behind, and Zim replaced the wood over the hole, leaving the unresponsive Gir on the table down below. Zim showed them the guest rooms, and they spent the rest of the day talking and catching up. The rest of the day followed without interruption.

Zim was just about to go to go to bed, when Dib stopped him.

"Guess you're the hero now, huh?" he said.

"Hero..." Zim murmured thoughtfully. "You know, I think I like the sound of that!"

**~End Of Chapter Three~**


	4. Important Resources

Dib awoke to loud noises coming from the kitchen. He looked at the digital clock by the bed. It was one in the morning. He wondered what they were doing and whether or not to go down. He decided that he would sneak down just to see what was going on. He crept down the stairs, peering around the second corner to see. No one was there. They must be down in the side lab. Dib crept down to the basement and quietly removed the square of wood.

"Dib? You can come down." A voice called up to him, and Dib almost dropped the wood. Shaking slightly, he started down. At the bottom, Zim, Zera and Viro were trying to fix Gir.

"Hallo, Dib!" Viro pulled her goggles up to her forehead. The straps on all of their goggles pressed their antennae against their heads.

"You're trying to fix Gir? I thought you said it was impossible." Questioned Dib.

"You know me!" Viro squealed. "Always the optimist."

"I see. Can I help?"

"Sure. There's an extra pair of goggles over there." Zera pointed to a table littered with scrap metal and tools. Among the mess was a pair of goggles with dark green lenses. Dib slipped them on, and, noticing that there was a switch on the side, flicked it. When nothing happened, Dib looked around. Everything looked the same as without the goggles, if a bit darker, but that was it. Suddenly, the word 'CLEAN' flashed on the inside of the lenses.

Dib jumped. "'Clean'? What does that mean?"

Zim looked up from the table, which held all the taken-apart pieces of Gir. "Hmm? Oh, those are my microgoggles. They find germs. But they'll still protect your eyes." He tapped one of Gir's blank eyes with a tuning fork, letting a ringing sound run through the air. He lifted the tuning fork up to stare at it. He then set it down and wrote his observations down on a clipboard.

Dib looked around again. "But there isn't anything there. I mean, I don't see any germs."

"I know," Zim said without looking up from his work.

"What," Dib laughed. "It's not like you sterilised the whole building, right? That'd be impossible!"

"That's pretty much what I'm telling you." Zim said, still not looking up.

"Okayyyy..." Dib walked over to the table. "What do you want me to do?"

"Help take apart the head." Zim tapped it with the end of the tuning fork, the one that made no noise. Dib picked up a screwdriver and set to work.

xxxXXXxxx

They worked on trying to fix Gir until about 8:30 in the morning, then the went upstairs to get some food. They had muffins.

Zim held one up, looking at it intently. "You remember that time you nailed me in the head with one of these?" he asked Dib.

"Yeah! That was hilarious!" Dib laughed through a mouthful of blueberry warm muffiny goodness.

Zera eyed one on the table skeptically. "Are these... safe to eat?"

"According to Zim they are," Dib motioned over to Zim, who, by now, was eating his fifth muffin, and his face was sprinkled heavily with crumbs. Zim gave them a zipper-toothed grin.

Viro looked at Dib. "You said you had Tak's ship. Can we see it after breakfast?"

"Yeah," Dib nodded. "I just need to get dressed, then we can go over to where I stored it." He finished up, then went upstairs to get ready. When he came down, they were wearing their disguises, and were waiting by the door.

"Well, about time!" Zera smirked. They went outside, and Zim pulled out a set of keys, unlocking a blue van that was parked by the curb.

"You've got a _car?!" _Dib exclaimed, eyes wide.

"Well, how else do you expect me to get around?" Zim asked, getting in. Dib got into the front passengers side, and Zera and Viro climbed in the back.

"Where is it stored?" He started up the car and pulled away from the curb, leaving the cul-de-sac.

"You know those woods?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, go to the woods, and you know where the entrance to the wildlife preserve is?"

"Yes..."

"Well, you know that gated off area? Go through there, and stop by that boulder that looks like a fork. Pull over there."

"Okay. Thanks."

It took about forty-five minutes to get to the woods, so Dib took the time to think. Zim had been acting strange. He wasn't himself, like before he knew about his fake mission. He had been like this ever since he had met him at the club- wait, no. He had been like this ever since he had learned about the mission, only it was just more... dampened, if that was the word. Dib was worried. Really, he was. While Zim's level of sanity had been questionable, it was far better than what people thought Dib was like, when, in reality, Dib may have been the most sane person of them all.

Wait, he was going off topic. He stopped his train of thought to look around and see if he had been talking to himself again, so he turned to look at Zim.

"Dib? What do you want?" Zim noticed Dib looking at him, his eyes flicking to Dib and then back to the road.

Dib shook his head. "Nothing."

He turned to the window, thinking again. Flashes of his personality would come through occasionally, but only sometimes, and only for brief moments. Otherwise he was this guy who liked to talk, lived alone and had a car and a couple of pets. Seemed like a pretty normal life to Dib. It was a far cry to what his life used to be, though. It used to be walking your dog to another country and creating huge water balloons and launching demon-Santas into space. There was the Tak invasion, and lest we forget the hypnotic pimple? Now it was going to Knew Pork and walking your pet moose.

"Dib, we're here." said Zim, knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Wha- oh! Okay." they clambered out of the car. Dib led them around the boulder, to a path that led off into the woods. Dib set off down it, the others following along.

Zera poked Zim in the shoulder. "Your disguise is horrible, you know that?"

"That's what I keep telling him! But does he listen? Nope!" Dib laughed.

"Shut up, Dib!" Zera glared at him.

"Nonsense! My disguise is INGENIOUS!" screeched Zim.

_Like now, _thought Dib, _he's like his old self. _They kept walking for another mile or so, until they came to a clearing. There was an abandoned shack sitting in the middle of it. It was rotting, with a large hole in the roof. Someone had spray painted the word Z? onto the door. Dib carefully opened the door. The entryway was covered in moss, and yellow grass and some tree sprouts were growing out of the floor. They stepped lightly around on the weak, rotten wood. They went into what once was the living room, and there was a hulking shape in the middle of the floor. Whatever it was was covered in an old, wet, tarp, but it had no holes. Dib stepped forward, yanking the tarp off of Tak's ship. It looked cold, lifeless. There was no other way to describe it. All the other ships had been almost alive, like they were going to respond at any moment to what you ordered it to do. Tak's looked dead. The windshield was dusty, with hairline cracks running across it. The console inside was dusty also, clouding the screens and lights.

Zim began examining it, opening the windshield with some effort. He climbed in, pressing some buttons, and the ship spluttered, humming weakly to life. "Hmmm... still works... good, good..." he murmured to himself. "I'll fly it back to the base. You guys move the Voot so we have room for this."

Dib looked up at the sky. "But won't people see you?"

"No. The people of this town are too STUPID to notice." Zim closed the windshield. The others headed back to the car, Dib looking back one more time to see the ship rise out of the building and float away. During the ride back, Viro chatted endlessly about seemingly random things such as llamas and lollipops, while Dib and Zera merely tolerated it, used to her long pointless speeches.

"STOP THE CAR!" Dib screamed when they were still in the woods.

Zera braked suddenly. "What? What is it?" she said, looking around frantically.

In response, Dib clambered out of the car as fast as he could, pulling out his phone and snapping pictures left and right. After a few seconds he started walking quickly into the woods, still taking photos. He pressed a button, then sprinted away.

"What is he _doing?!_" Zera murmured, craning her neck to see where he had gone.

"Should we follow him?" Viro leaned in from the back seat.

"No. Let's see what happens."

"'Kay." Viro sat back, waiting. After a few minutes, Dib came crashing back.

"I GOT IT!" he exclaimed, waving his phone around as if it were some long-lost treasure.

"What did you find?" asked Zera exasperatedly.

"I FINALLY got real evidence of the Slender Man!" he showed them his phone, and the others gathered around. It was a picture of the woods. "See?! Do you SEE?!"

"Not really..." Viro said.

"Well, there's the arms and the torso and the head and then there are the legs." he said, running the tip of his pinky finger around the shape.

"Nope. Don't see it." Zera turned back to the wheel and began driving again.

Dib inhaled sharply. "What do you mean? _It's right there!_" he yelled, waving it in her face. Zera merely shoved the phone away and kept on driving.

"Ugh..." Dib grumbled and stared down at the picture.

xxxXXXxxx

Zim hurriedly pressed another icon on the control screen, at the same time momentarily taking his hand off of the second control stick to slide another icon that had been in the red back down to yellow. He reached up and flicked a few switches above him, and an annoying hissing and whining sound filled the small cabin, accompanied by spurts of wind. Zim had turned off the external shield, allowing air to blow full-force against the broken windshield.

The alien quickly put his hands back on the control rods. On all Irken-made ships, the controls would switch to autopilot for exactly ten seconds, from pressure sensors on the rods. If you didn't put your hands back on them within those ten seconds, the ship would stop moving forward. This was so the pilot could make adjustments to the other controls without losing total control of the vessel.

He had been following the car through the road in the forest, but when they reached the outskirts of the city, he took a different route, veering over the more urbanized areas on the outskirts of Fellheaver, while Zera took the car through downtown.

**~End of Chapter Four~**

**I know this has not been updated in forever, but I may either keep going with this one or do a rewrite, depending on:**

**- if I decide to watch Invader Zim again**

**- if you guys want me to continue OR do a rewrite.**

**So if anybody is out there and wants a continuation or a start-over, please please please contact me via review or PM! ~ zuzu**


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